too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
