Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
