At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
