Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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