When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
