i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
