do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
is that a dick in a sweater?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
