is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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