apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
