Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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