Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
