I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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