it wasn't lemon gatorade
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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