Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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