But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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