I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
