I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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