Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Text me some of your sweat
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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