someone get that fucking seahorse.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
