Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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