omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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