So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
