There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
