listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
