I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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