The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
