But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
