i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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