one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All I want is dick and wine.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
