Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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