she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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