just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
