I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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