Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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