So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
