you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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