I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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