Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
