you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
