sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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