i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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