The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
