Dual....:-)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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