I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
