i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
