So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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