how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
