I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
