we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
