She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
